Before getting pregnant and having kids I had an idea in my head of how it would all be. I guess we all do. It’s kind of funny when I look back how naive I actually was. Was I in for a wake up call!

Early pregnancy

I had imagined I would be all happy and would float around in a pregnancy bubble and be beautiful just like Kate Middleton. In reality my hair and skin were awful, I vomited for 4 months straight and lived on bananas and coke (cola not cocaine).

Later pregnancy

I was a big Friends fan so couldn’t wait to get a cute little bump like Rachel. The reality was I looked and felt like a huge Seal. I kept waiting for the pregnancy glow to arrive. I guess I’m a grower not a glower. Everything was swollen even my nose thus no photos were taken. My feet are still bigger even now!

Newborns

I remember telling someone when I was pregnant with my first son that newborns sleep all the time so I could catch up on sleep when he was born. I remember that they looked at me as if I had two heads. Of course my baby would be a good sleeper, I mean I’m excellent at it. If you’re reading this and you’re pregnant with your first here’s a heads up. Some babies don’t sleep well. Some babies don’t sleep EVER. They turn into 7 year olds that don’t sleep. When they tell you to sleep when the baby sleeps grab every frikking minute!

Breastfeeding

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I was going to be a breast feeding, cloth nappying, baby wearing mama. I guess 1 out of 3 isn’t bad. I desperately wanted to breast feed my first son but he had a tongue tie and I had basically no support. But do you know what? I have made my peace with that now. Nothing awful happened because I didn’t breast feed him. Though all the washing and sterilising of bottles is a total pain in the crank.

Weaning

My child was going to be a tidy eater. Would eat everything put in front of them and definitely not throw food. Reality check and I’ve given up on that dream. My top tip is to get a dog to hoover up the biggest bits from the floor. You could always paint your walls orange so that you can’t see the splashes of baby food up the wall (why is it all orange?). My kids mainly eat beige food and crackers despite my best efforts. And hey beige food doesn’t mark the walls as much so it’s win win.

Milestones

Obviously I was going to have genius children that completed one activity at a time, putting one toy away before starting another. Reality is you try your damnedest to get your baby to sit, crawl, walk and talk and spend the rest of your life wishing they’d sit still and stop talking about Paw Patrol. Baby number 2 is a particular trasher. Take your eyes off him for 1 minute and he’s losing jigsaw pieces left right and centre. My OCD can’t cope with it!

Having a big family

I always imagined having a big family would be like the Vonn Trapp family in The Sound of Music. In reality it’s mostly uncoordinated chaos here but lots and lots of fun with lots and lots of love I really can’t imagine it being any other way.

That’s all for now although I can think of loads more. If you like this let me know and I will do a second post. Let me know in the comments what reality checks you have had since becoming a parent. Hope you’re surviving half term so far!

Love and peace xxx