Self Care is not Selfish

It is quite timely that you guys voted for the Weekly Bloggers topic to be self care for 2 reasons. The first is that October 11th was Mental Health Awareness Day and self care is a big part of looking after our mental health. The second reason is that lately I have fallen back into old habits of not taking very good care of myself. I mean I do the daily basics of hygiene and all that jazz. I could probably do with washing my hair more if I’m honest as I’m sure days of dry shampoo can’t be good for it! But I digress. Yes, anyway, Self care.

For me self care is important for looking after my wellbeing. Be that physical or mental. My days (and probably yours) are crazy. Weekdays I wake and hit the ground running. I am nearly always late. I do the school run and head straight to work. Because I’m a few minutes late I dive straight in and keep my head down until hometime. I finish again slightly late and go directly to do the school run and then head home. I try and spend a bit of time with both boys before tackling dinner (the Mr does dinner also) but if im not doing dinner I’m doing jobs around the house. Then it’s bath/bedtime and all of a sudden it’s 9- 9.30pm and I’m too knackered to do anything for myself. Sometimes I have enough energy to give the Hubster a blow job…if he’s lucky.

Something I learned when I was doing my course of Cognitive behavioural therapy last year was that activities can be divided into achievement and enjoyment. The aim is to get a balance of both. I spent a long time writting everything down on a planner to make sure I was finding the right balance in my life. At some point I stopped doing this and slowly I got back on the hamster wheel and stayed there.

Last week I noticed my anxiety was really peaking and I was struggling. There was not one specific thing I could think that was causing it but what I do know is that I had not been doing very much self care. I have spent the past week re-evaluating and have made some changes. It means that sometimes I have to ignore the mess or the laundry has to wait and that can be really hard for me to do.

So what do I do for self care?

Lots of the things I do are simple and reasonably low cost and I have also thrown in a couple of other ideas that I plan to try.

Facemasks. I do love a good facemask. You can get some really reasonably priced ones at Home Bargains. The kids like to get involved with this sometimes too.

Undisturbed hot bath. Don’t underestimate the power of a nice, peaceful soak in the bath. Buy some luxury bath soak and body wash just for you. I love Soap and Glory.

Writing my blog. I love having some quiet time to get my head down and waffle on about whatever is in my head. It so therapeutic!

Reading. I think I’ve told you before that the old baby brain stops me reading big books but I love reading articles and blogs are a perfect size for me to read. Which brings me on to my next activity which is something I havent tried yet.

Audio books. I think I may have more luck with these for larger books as will require less concentration. The only issue here is I suspect I will get so relaxed I will fall asleep! I also love a good podcast.

Meditation. I struggle at the moment with an unguided meditation as my mind is just all over the place. Reccomendations for a short, guided meditation gratefully received. I have booked onto a one off session later in the month and I can’t wait!

Walking. Go for a walk they say when they hear you have anxiety. ‘They’ have never been for a walk with a couple of small kids. It’s not very relaxing! Go for a nice solo walk.

Massage. This is another I haven’t done recently but I am going to try and go regularly from now on. It can be quite expensive but one way to reduce the cost is to book into your local beauty college. I’m not sure how much the prices are now but a few yeas ago I paid £3 for an hour long cleansing facial with massage. THREE QUID!

Cinema. We try to have some child free time as a couple at least every 1 or 2 months. Mostly we go to the cinema with our bag full of treats from Aldi.

Anything can count as self care as long as it is an enjoyment activity for you. I started out by making a list of things that I liked to do and making sure I try and slot something nice in for myself each day. It can be something as simple as giving yourself a mini pedicure, having a hot cup of coffee while you flick through a magazine.

Taking care of yourself is important. You can not pour from an empty cup. Self care is not selfish.

Here are some other similar posts I thought you may like to check out…

S = Sabotage . . . Self sabotage

Why Moms Need Self-Care

And this lovely mama writes some lovely and very relatable poetry on her Instagram

Go make yourself a coffee. Put the laundry down and check them out. You are ready for a break mama.

Love and peace xxx

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