I love you baby!

Wow how did that happen? We have a 1 year old. I can’t believe how fast the time has gone! Its made me look back on the past 2 years of life, my pregnancy and his first year. Time flies when you’re having fun and sleep deprived!

So where shall I start? Let’s go back to Jan 2017. We started our attic conversion which was a major job as it was not straight forward, as these things never are! Ceilings came down, a wall had to come down and be rebuilt. A 6 week job took 4 months. The house was covered in black dust crap and if you’ve ever been involved with building regs you will know they are an absolute pain in the arse!

By March 2017 we were nearing the end and we both thought that we would like an addition to complete our family. With me being 38 at the time we just assumed it would take a while to get pregnant so we stopped taking precautions at that time thinking by the time we did get pregnant all the works would be finished. Perfect plan eh?

Well I just know you’ve already guessed I got up the duff immediately. So when I started feeling sick about a week before my period was due I had a strong suspicion. I waited until the day my period was due and wham bam surprise mam you’re preggers. I was in shock because I had just not counted on it being so fast. I think we both were. Of course we were really happy but now we were on a time deadline to finish off the house which was a task and a half. We had the attic and 2 upstairs bedrooms to completely redecorate. And repaint the hall, stairs and landing. Let me tell you it was not fun with morning sickness. And if you’ve had it you know it’s definitely not morning sickness but every freaking hour of the waking day sickness. I think I lost about 12lbs in the first 8 weeks. I could hardly eat a thing and mostly survived on coke and bananas!

At around 16 weeks I started having what felt like tightening in my pelvic area. It reminded me of Braxton Hicks contractions but I thought it must be too early for that. It was only happening when was doing activity. I checked it out with the midwife who seemed concerned. She thought I may have a urine infection that was irritating my uterus. She arranged antibiotics from the GP and also got me to take a vaginal swab. She told me to rest if that’s what stopped it. Because I was less than 20 weeks pregnant they wouldn’t consider to see me on the ante natal ward. That was so stressful! When the swab came back it showed bacterial vaginosis which is known to cause an irritated uterus in pregnant women. They changed the antibiotics to the correct type and within a few days the ‘tightenings’ stopped.

Around 23 weeks it happened again. I attended the ante natal ward for a check. The Doctors thought I had a urine infection and that was what they treated me for but I asked if they would do another vaginal swab which they agreed to do. Again the result came back as bacterial vaginosis and the GP switched me to the correct treatment and the symptoms stopped. What a worry!

About a month or so later I had a urinary tract infection…yet more antibiotics! I was so worried what all this was doing to the baby. Then later in the summer I got bitten by a dog while doing my job. More antibiotics. The wound got infected. And more antibiotics. Poor baby I thought.

Then there was the pelvic girdle pain. From about 16 weeks I could only sleep on my sides. However, if I slept on my side too long I would wake with hip pain. I remember having this with my first but not until almost the end of the pregnancy. I don’t think I slept for more than 2 hours in a row for the next 25 weeks. The pain only became really difficult in the day the last month or so. Basically I was knackered! I actually fell asleep reading my son a bedtime story on a few occasions. Mid sentence! And of course anaemia never helped the whole situation. I was one pretty miserable pregnant lady.

My due date was Dec 14th. I was aiming for VBAC without induction or a C section scheduled for Dec 21st. When my due date came I did all the tricks. I ate so much pineapple I had the shits! The 20th Dec arrived. Consultant appointment and last chance for a natural delivery. I requested a sweep. What a fucking ordeal pardon my french! I left the clinic and sat by the hospital enterance. I was close to fainting. I went back to the clinic and told the midwife I was unwell. Long story short I ended up in the minor injuries unit for monitoring (of me not the baby). The Dr there thought I had cervical shock (Google it people). I’m not having anymore babies but let me tell you now that I would never ever have that done to me again. I was ill for the whole of that day and all night. I was certain I would go into labour after that though but nope. He was not coming out. At 7 am I woke with severe pain and passing fresh blood and clots! I panicked and called into the ante natal ward who said to come in for a check. Me and the baby were monitored and reassured. By now I had had enough. I just wanted my baby out where I knew he was safe. I was having panic attacks and was terrified I was going to die. This all sounds very dramatic now and let me tell you I was being well looked after and reassured we were doing ok. The bleeding had mostly stopped. My partner was a total rock through that time and kept me from completely losing my shit. Hours dragged on waiting for my elective slot in the afternoon. I was actually terrified but the anaesthetist was actually amazing. He kept me calm and sane on one side while my partner kept me calm and held my hand tight on the other. It took a lot longer than my first and they were in my belly mopping up for ages. Now if you’ve never had a c section let me explain…it’s like someone is washing the dishes in your gut. Freaky sensation!

Beautiful baby boy was out and after a few more minor complications with me we were allowed home on Christmas Eve. Christmas day came and went in a blur. My mum was the hero of that day and fed us all! Thank you mum you’re a legend!

Of course not to be outdone by my prenatal crapfest my post natal experience included needing 2 lots of antibiotics for a uterine infection, anaemia and constipation (you choose…bloody knackered and able to poop or constipated and more energy) the shitting won by the way.

Ok so before I talk about the gorgeous one I feel I need to clarify 2 things here.

Bacterial vaginosis is not an STI. I’m not a minger ok

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/bacterial-vaginosis/

Being pregnant is an absolute blessing and a miracle. I’m not sugar coating my experience for anyone. I had a crappy pregnancy and I have said it like it was but every single day I felt blessed to have this baby inside of me and was grateful that I was fortunate enough to be able to do that amazing job.

So after that difficult pregnancy we were blessed with the most wonderful joy of a baby. He has been such a happy and easy going soul right from the start. So this is the part where I get to be one of those annoying smug mums of ‘easy’ babies. (Not really my first was a colicky baby and hardly slept so I know the flip side). He slept for long periods from a few weeks old and apart from the occasional witching hour in the early days he very rarely moans. I have talked about my anxiety and post natal depression in another post. Here if you want to read it…

https://th3secretlifeofme.wordpress.com/2018/10/28/im-not-a-stranger-to-the-dark/

I have enjoyed spending every day of the last year with this lovely little man. Watching him grow from a not so teeny squishy (9lb baby) to a baby smiling and oh how those first smiles are do precious.. The first laughs just like little hiccups at first then slowly turning into long infectious giggles. When started rolling, front to back and then vise versa. The determination to get moving. And how cute is that first lot of babbling, first words..mama of course, ha sorry dada. It was fun watching him learn how to crawl and that butt rocking thing they do before they can actually move off. It wasn’t long after that he was cruising the furniture and took his first steps just before his first birthday. His absolute favourite thing to do is hide stuff. Particularly the remote controls. We are on to him now and know his stash places but boy does this kid like to post things into bins, corners, behind cupboards, under the sofa. If it’s a nightmare to retrieve it you can guarantee he’s hidden it there ha! I can just see his personality beginning to show more now and he’s very determined, mischievous and very funny with a lot of love for us all. Oh I could just eat him.

He is confident and independent and his beautiful smile could melt the iciest of hearts. He has so much love for all his siblings but he absolutely adores his 6 year old brother, well apart from when he is smothering him with love anyway. I can just see in a couple of years these 2 are going to run rings around me. They are both going to wrap me around their little fingers for sure!

For his first birthday we had a small gathering of just us the immediate family. A little tea party and he loved it. Well apart from the birthday cake part and you can check out my short video of that on this Instagram post

I am going to be so sad to not hang out with him each day when I go back to work next week (there will be a blog post about it no doubt). But I should remember I have had a whole year and a bit with him. Seeing him hit all those milestones, watching him change and grow.

I can’t wait to see wait to see what the next year brings…hopefully not the terrible twos (insert maniacal laughter here)

Love and peace cc

5 comments

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